Food Porn

Barbabra and I were sitting in her office and I noticed that she peeled her banana and took her other hand to cut off a piece before she ate it. She noticed me looking at her while she ate and she offered me the other half.

"You want the other half?"

"Yeah." I reached across the table and took the other half of the banana.

"I noticed that you peeled the banana and touched it with your other hand." I declared my observation. Wheels were turning in my head and wondered why she would touch a perfectly clean food with her hand before eating it.

"Well I wouldn't put in my mouth and offer the other half to you."

That made sense.

I still wondered whether she would still touch it with her hand if she did not intend to offer me the other half.

"There are different types of banana eaters." I said

"I wonder what that says about you?" Barbara wondered out loud.

I watched her gather her bags and lug it on each arm. I swear those bags weigh as much as she does.

"There are people who peel it from the bottom." I said

"There are those who just peel it the regular way and there are those who just pry it open and don't peel it all." I continued.


"This fruit is so phallic." I said. I finished the last bite of the banana.

"Flo, you think of food like men think of porn." Barbara observed.

I thought, what else can I talk about to a nutritionist but food?